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I Don't Like Children.       


    I don't like children. They make too much noise and break things. There's so few children in the world that I can stand. All of the rest I just want flick in the eye, if I can stand being that close to them for that long. The things that bothers me is how they are aloud to be rude and whatnot to others, because "they don't know any better." Then teach them better. A while ago I was in Wal-Mart or something and I was having myself a good time playing a grand old gameboy. So some Hispanic kid whose mother had no clue of his location, however did not care to look for him, came up. He didn't say anything, he just looked at me. So I just sort of nodded in a "I can be violent, get out of here" motion. But he didn't quite get the gist of what I was saying. So he walks over, still looking at me and puts his hands on the video game. So I say "Yeah. The advancements they've made in technology to make this available to the common man are pretty fascinating, aren't they?" So he gives me this weird confused/mad look and promptly climbs on the lower shelf of the wall of which the display/play-only gameboy was attached to. He starts trying to look at the screen, so I give the side of his skull a light tap with the game. But he must have thought it was the dread Wal-Mart wind that so often breezes by, hitting you in the head with its debris. So he actually puts his head between my eyes and the screen. I'm trying not to hit the thing. I start looking around for its mother, but to no success. So I said "I'm playing it right now, come back later." So it hisses at me. So after about 2 and a half minutes of this I give up and leave, but not with out swinging the cartridge towards the kids stupid ugly bulbous head. Man...where was that thing's mother. Kids are always doing things like pointing out mistakes in peoples' physical features, which is usually funny, and pointing at people, and knocking things over and saying "uh oh" real loud so it becomes "cute," whatever that is, and doesn't have to do anything about the mess besides accept the pat on the back and ruffling of hair. Just looking at kids makes think whatever couples were thinking when they decided to have kids. They're not little angels, as so popularly believed. They're ugly little rodents who use up money and waste money and make money go away. Also, people take advantage of children. I don't care, but I think it's funny how only the children are hungry in Cambodia, and only the children need shelter in Brazil, and only the children are dirty and bleeding in India, and only the children aren't fed and have AIDS and SARS and all sorts of other diseases in Africa. Oh no, they adults are fine, doing great, it's the kids that are neglected and don't get any rights. Also, when some parent who couldn't find a baby-sitter decides to take them to a play or show, they get mad because that have to pay equal price for the kid to sit next to them. It's a seat. Why give away something away free when you can give it to a competent, educated person who will actually watch the performance and not fall asleep or need to be taken out halfway through, for $40. Bah. Kids suck. Another problem I have is children whose parents aren't responsible enough to watch them. I'm on the verge of voting pro-abortion next time somebody wants by opinion. So many kids are forced to live in a society that can't provide for them because the parents didn't think things through before spitting one out. I see middle-schoolers bragging about their little mock-gangs and it sickens me. What good parent would allow their kid to wander around and associate with people who inform them of what gangs are. Same deal with drugs, tobacco, and alcohol. Sure, you can't be there all the time to watch your kids, but surely you can tell them what is 'bad' and what is 'good.' And it's all because the parents don't feel like taking care of one more responsibility in their life. Something that bothers me is the baffling idea that people have that their argument against me is safe with "well you were a kid once."...Irrelevant. I don't care. I was a great kid. Even if I wasn't, it wouldn't matter enough to change my opinion. I might have been offended if someone my age now made fun of me when I was little, but now I completely understand where they were coming from. I want to go find them and apologize for my insolence, impudence, and irritating characteristics. Not that I had any. Kids suck. When I have kids, they'll be sent to a training school, and will see me for only a few hours a day. However, that won't be the case, because my kids won't suck. They won't get to watch anything on TV besides animal planet, discovery, the history channel, and comedy central presents. I'll teach them how to play music and we'll make a band that won't suck like most do. Yeah. I don't like children.